Pony or Poo?

Isn't this the metaphor for Life? In looking through the Chaos (A.K.A., Life) are we looking for that elusive Pretty Pony or just muddling through the Poo? The Christmas Season seems to really bring the question to a visual fore front. Aren't we all looking for something? And isn't it all just your attitude? Granted, Life Events/Situations can definitely sway your attitude one way or another, and I would list chronic to severe mental illness as the exception to the rule. With these 2 elements aside, are we not in charge of how we view our experience? And isn't it what we do with our choices that really matter? Hmmm... More deep thoughts with Suzette McD.

We Survived the Holidays!!!!!

Whew...

Breathing, once again.

It is so important to listen to your heart & gut. I feel so much better now that I've decided to stop being stepped on by insane people. "Walk away from the bitter coocoo..." Maybe I'll just stay in my this house. At least I know I can trust the owner.

They are insane.

I have had it up to my eyeballs with wishy-washy-non-committal behavior, interjected w/ blatant rude comments. The owner of the property essentially verbally sucker-punched me instead of saying thank you for the flowers. Enough. I am walking away a better person w/ my dignity in tact. And I've rented a movie for my kids & mixing a stiff gin & tonic.

Mr. Mdme. Butterfly

Oh my Gawd!!! Laughing so hard! My dear friend, Mr. Hee, (shown in the sequence of 4 photos, below) is just a riot! He is my BFF's Lover Pie. We took our little peeps to Disneyland for 5 glorious days this past October. This photo series occurred during the Halloween Party @ CA Adventure. BFF's daughter dressed as a Monarch Butterfy Fairy & thus, became the Costume Director for my little project. Most satisfying!

The Mating Ritual of the Princess Butterfly

The mature queen of this species is quite stealth as she ambushes her unsuspecting host. The process will kill her but her offspring will flourish.

The host is impregnated.

Timing and speed are essential. The process is brutal.

The pain of transformation is horrific!

Some of this subject matter may inappropriate or difficult for some viewers. Avert your eyes, if you must.

"The Metamorphosis of the Princess Butterfly

... Is complete!"

Trying to Woo the Rental Gods...

OK. This is it. If they don't bite at this, they're truly insane & I'm better off w/out this house. I dropped some quid on a charming floral gift basket (white roses, ivy, sprays of pine...you get the picture)and wrote a direct, heartfelt mini soliloquey essentially stating the Universe has made this match perfect, so wise up & accept my application and my money. The note card was an antique-ish English painting of a magnolia blossom & the hand writing was in my best calligraphy. I am insane. My Basket of Drooling Hope was left on the desired doorstep this morning. We'll see...

Holiday Traditions. Is it worth it?

"And she settled down for a long Winters Nap... (in a fetal postion, drunk & unconscious...)
"We HAVE to have a REAL, tall Christmas Tree! With snow on it!!" they whine. I don't know about you, but my budget this holiday season is a tad stretched. This year would be a great year for my ATM card to simply buy a wreath or swag and call it a day.

So I cave & purchase a truly pretty 6' tree @ Target for $40. Not too shabby. We get it home, out of the over-stuffed-kid-cluttered mini van, into the dining room & set the tanenbaum up. The kids disappear. Driven more by OCD than holiday cheer, I set to putting lights onto the tree. Kip reappears. I suggest decorating OUR tree with his favorite Littlest Pet Shop zoo members & all their accoutremonts. An hour & a half of 6-year-old artistic ferver. Very nice.

The following morning I enter the dining room and notice all of the Littlest Pet Shop animals & their belongings have been evicted to the dining room table. Hmmm. Kip flashes past me snarfing epithets of death to his brother under his breath. "What's up?" I stupidly ask, knowing the answer. "I hate my brother!" "Does that have anything to do with your de-nuding the Christmas tree? (I didn't really say "de-nuding". It just like the way it sounds in writing this.) "He made fun of me!" Of course. The Joy of The Season is upon us.

I go to plug in the Christmas tree lights and... the extention cord is missing. My eyes are furtively shooting left and right looking for the missing cord. ("Did I have an extention cord? I swore I plugged it in...?") Then Izod beckons me from the family room. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOm! Moooooooooooooooooooooom! Hey MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!?!?!?" "Yes, Dear Heart?" I greet him. "I can't get my video game to work on the TV. Help me." I ask, "Is the system plugged into the outlet, because I think I used the extention cord for the Christmas tree." "I know." He replies "'cause I took it back and now the game won't work."

Why do I bother? I'm considering shoving the tree into the fireplace 'cause Mrs. Claus is seriously getting it up the ass right now. And not happy about it.

Renting Hell

At writing time, I am still a home owner. Daily looking to rent an affordable, hopefully charming, 2 bedroom house w/ garage in my kids' school district. Soooooo over the lottery system we endure every year as an intra-district transfer family.

The process sucks. It's as bad as trying to woo a home seller during the peak of the real estate market. First, just try finding a house of any size for rent in the desired area. Then making contact with the owners & filling out the application. Make 2-3 friendly visits to check in on the process. Now, I'm being compared to people who have shown only mild interest in the rental and complete wishy-washy neurosis. Last time we talked I was a shoe in! My credit is amazing, I'm a home owner, I'm healthfully enmeshed in my community with schools & my job, and I'm consistent and offering the amount they want - RIGHT NOW! What??!?!? It's as if I have to promise them family tickets to the Price is Right, Dinner & 2 weeks at my time share!?!? (Which I don't have!) And what really sucks is I still want the place! So many pros for me & my kids! Grrrrr.....

OMG!!! I have been SOOOOO busy!

Crazy. So sorry to have been away so long. Laundry list of things to gossip & rant about! Where to start?

Went to Disney land with my peeps the first week of October. 5 days of non-stop entertainment. Went with my BFF, Irenie, her hunky man, Mr. Hee, and her daughter, Madamemoiselle Goobers. It was great! I highly recommend going on holiday with friends. The kids loved it and there were fewer fights. What's not to love?

the people in this photograph have been blurred to protect their privacy (& my camera decided not to focus!!!)

Mercury is in Retro grade!!!!!

Note: This picture has absolutely no connection to this posting, what so ever. I just liked it.

So. Izod clocked his head on Sunday (concussion), Little D crashed on Monday (fractured knee cap) & today, Kip biffed it on his right hip (4" goose egg). What the F*%!?!?! is going on????? The giant bump was discovered at bedtime, thus hysterical giggle screaming ensued when the subject of an ice pack was suggested to relieve the owie. I made an ice cube/vodka solution in a ziplock baggie & snuck it inside a sock. Kip & I drew a happy face on the sock. Kip relaxed and allowed the "ice buddy" to rest on the offending bump. Then I noticed the "Ice buddy" was drooling. Now my 6 year old smells like a Russian whino. Nice. Dare I ask, what's next?

Gotta love safety gear

Our dear buddy, Little D, came over to skate yesterday. He fell, landed on & scraped his pad-free knee, very painful. Felt fine enough to go out and skate some more. Next day, really sore knee. X-ray showed fractured knee cap. 2 weeks in a brace with crutches, then 4 more weeks with just crutches. This is just the preliminary diagnosis. This Fridays' orthopedic appointment may garner more knee goodies. To all parents and skate kids... WEAR YOUR SAFETY EQUIPTMENT!!!!!!! Pain sucks all around.

Izod catching some air...

(Note: These pictures were taken a week prior to his head injury.) He now has successfully pissed me off for a whole other reason & has lost skateboard priveledges for a week. Good times.

Oh yeah. These are my Homies 2!

The Kipster on the move...

Izod's Helmet

Today, the boys & I picked up Little D on our way to the Board Shop (University & California-excellent staff! Very knowledgeable & friendly.) to purchase a new deck for Kip, and a host of pads, wrist protectors & helmets for both kids. Several hundreds of dollars later, off to Caliskate we drove. Izod's helmet more than paid for itself & all of the other gear when it protected his head from becoming a smashed watermelon when he totally ate it on a jump. He just laid there. It was sick. I called 911 who arrived quickly, provided a battery of neurological questions & head, neck & spine manipulations. They declared that Izods Helmet had saved him an ambulance ride, a bundle of time in the ICU, and possibly his ability to breathe. The helmet now bears some significant scars. We went home. Fear & pain make one very tired. All is well.

This is for my very bored friend, Cynjay!

Hey Cutie Poo! This is SO for you! We had an absolute blast taking Little Mr. T to the Caliskate Park with us yesterday. The little puffy haired blonde bombshell learned how to drop in! What a trooper! We now have a small band of mini skate monkeys to consider making a club... My buddy Ben, who's 5-year-old, Gus, is already a pro, will email me his address. Then we can set up SkateDates for the guys & check out new parks, rate them, and hang out with like-minded cool parents! Our kids ROCK! Monkeys in the know: Gus, Mr. T, Izod, Kip, and Little D. How hip is that?!!?!?!?

Girls getting catty & the Sublime Ms. Stella

Oh yeah. These are my Homies!

Plenty of good pickins' & carbs to keep going!

Significantly cool girlies getting their groove on!

Help Your Sistah, Help Yourself Success!

Wow!!!! That was awesome! So many amazing women under one roof! Great clothes, far out accessories, way yummy food & endless fun! Pictures to soon be updated. I'm exhausted!

Skate Monkeys

Holy Krakatoa! Me & the Boys discovered Thrasher Park in San Leandro yesterday! It rocks! My kids are doing "ollie's", "grinding", & jumping with the big boys at the skateboard park! Littlest Dude, Kip, is seriously gifted in the skate department. No fear. Finally, something sports oriented that he has the upper hand in with his older brother. We've easilly spent 8 hours there in the past 2 days! So much fun.

The skateboard culture is primarily male. And I have to say, it's the most physical, nurturing, supportive masculine sports environment I've ever witnessed. These guys really know how to show compassion to each other! And the big guys (17-23) watch out & support the little guys (8-12). I was fascinated. No fights, no hard feelings. Just sharing of space & techniques, respectful body language and tutoring, with a strong comraderie of what it is to be male. Every color, shape, size, skill level, & social class became moot. Truly diverse.

I will be faithfully supporting my kids to hang out at skate parks.(And so will I, with them...those older skate monkeys are really easy on the eyes!!!!)

रुलेस

(Thoughts while shopping & reading dumb authoritarian signage) "Well then. If you're gonna make up your own rules, then I'm gonna make up my own, too. So, there!" I think this mind set will suit me well in many arenas!

Should Summer Stay or Should It Go Now...

I am so ambivent!!!!! I LOVE not having a schedule; waking up when we want to, going where ever we want, when we want, NO HOMEWORK, staying up late, playdates & sleepovers any day of the week, SpongeBob... And yet, I can't wait for my guys to go back to school so I don't have to deal with finding playdates to keep them active & stimulated, have a sense of routine and organization, interaction with other adults (them & me!), PERSONAL SPACE, time to find my mind (I think it's with my keys & several mis-matched socks), the ability to finish a project without having to stop and make Mac N Cheese or wipe a butt. Ya know, If we went to a year round schedule, life would be so much more balanced. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I needed the kids for Summer help in tending to our fields. 6-8 weeks on & 2-3 weeks off would be so much more civilized. I am here to testify that my kids lose a huge portion of what they've struggled to learn all year by having too much time elapse during Summer Break. They need more consistent learning phases and breaks in-between to stave off the burn-out. With Year Round School we wouldn't need homework. Homework is killing our evening family time. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L. Our kids and our families need a break. Let's get organized, protest & change this for the better of our families & communities!

Stinson Beach

Wow. I'm telling ya. 4 days at Stinson Beach is really the epitome of California cool. We had such a great time. Lots of sand castles, wave jumping, frisbee &sea crabs (Kip & his buddy, Fia, vigorously advertised to the Life Guard & other unsuspecting beach goers, that they both "had crabs & would be happy to share them." Such giving children! I highly recommend a visit!

On the right path...

Ya know, when I just trust in myself & follow my heart, it's "funny" how much simpler and rewarding life is. The Universe has a wacky sense of humour... Gotta love it.

The Yuba River

Isn't this gorgeous? I love bringing my kids here to play. It's harkens back to a simpler "swimming hole" style of family entertaiment.

Is modern living all that it's cracked up to be?

I say, NO! Life is harder, more isolating, and more focused on monetary gains than ever before. We spend a ridiculous amount of time at work, commuting, dealing with paperwork, running endless errands, scheduling appointments & events on cell phones & email and watching TV to chill out. Family values sounds like a cynical joke. More people are depressed, anxious, and taking prescription meds to feel something or to numb out. Are we (Americans/Westernized societies) becoming a larger, more global version of the .com disaster? Are we going to just burn ourselves out? The old perfume ad directed towards the newly liberated women of the 70's touted "we can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, & never, never let you forget your a man" now sees us in the year 2007 having both men & women trying to bring home the bacon, raise a family, someone try to order in dinner or nuke the prepackage organic food pouch, and stay awake long enough to recognize the person on the other side of the bed! Revolt, I say! Take back our families! Let's find a way to raise our own children instead of having to hire someone else! Take back our basic ideals! Downsize all of our unrealistic BS cultural financial expectations of being a rock star, Wall Street wizard, pro-wrestling, PTA President, cupcake wielding, spiritually ambiguous family of 4 with a dog, 3 cats, & 8 fish. Relax... Bring back local community; Block parties, local shop owners, environmentally & socially conscientious brand loyalty. I say we're worth it. Now...How do we do this?

Mind Your Manners

Gosh darn, hoogie-boogie youngin' whipper snappers! So RUDE!!!! Tell me, what do you think are the most important manners children should be taught, (e.g., hygiene, behavior @ home, restaurant, play dates, w/ strangers, seniors...) Any stories you want to share or opinions on which cultures have the best/worst manners? Who's fault is it that the kids of today are so rude & self-centered; or have children always been this way? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

How to Post a Comment to My Blog

Howdy! And welcome to Blog Posting 101.
All of my blog entries are on the left hand side of the screen (green background/white type). You will see at the end of each entry, in light blue type, the phrase: "Posted by Suzette McD", the time & date the entry was created, then COMMENTS. Click on COMMENTS. This will open the POST A COMMENT window allowing you to type in your response to that specific entry. When you have completed your comment, click on the POST YOUR COMMENT button on the bottom left of the window. Ta-da! I look forward to hearing from you!

STUDIO uTT

OMG!@#^$^*#*&%#@@!!! I am so tired! In a good way. My new uber-cool, black & wood, hydraulic, bad boy of a salon chair should be here tomorrow! And I am sure to scare the Hell out of Michel when he gets back from his holiday with his dad & sees the charges I made at IKEA this week! If you here a primal scream that turns into a shallow whimper, you'll know Michel read the bill. I had a blast! Wait till you see it! ***Perfect grand opening at the Aug. 18th Clothing Exchange!

I'm changing the name of STUDIO uTT (having Karmic concerns around "u.t.t.") to "Welcome to Mayberry; (High End Quality that's Down Right Neighborly)". Harkons back to the Andy Griffith Show. Plus, in all reality, my studio is in my neighborhood. Won't you be my neighbor?

Must sleep. Gotta clean like a maniac before My Man gets back!

P.S... Holy Mother of Pearl! How you single parents handle the kids 7/24 is a righteous miracle. The phrase, "If you continue speaking to me in that manner, I will back hand you into last year!" came flying out of my mouth with considerable ease. (Note: the child escaped untouched, but was clearly alerted to his status.) I can hardly wait to unload my darling spawn onto their Father at my earliest convenience. (Of course, this is before he sees the IKEA bill!)

Clothing Exchange

Howdy Peeps! Whatcha all doin' on Saturday, August 18th between 7p & 10p? If your calendar is still free, write it in pen that you're participating in a truly cool clothing exchange! At my house! Go through your closets, wardrobes, boxes, hampers... bring every article of clothing A) that's in great shape but you haven't worn it in Forever , B) your coming to terms that your body will never be a size itty bitty again & it's time to let those teeny tiny clothes go bye-bye, C) you've finally reached your goal weight & are ready to unload your extra larges, or D) you're ready for a complete make over & need to start over! Please also bring any jewelry in good shape, shoes that are still lovely, &/or hats.

If you travel: bring all those cute shampoos, conditioners & body lotions you've dragged home from the hotels.

If you have partially used hair products sitting there catching dust: bring those too!

At the end of the evening, all unclaimed clothing, travel hygiene & hair products will be donated to a women's shelter to help them get back on their feet , feel clean, pretty, & dressed for success.

This will be a bring your own wine event. Group participation is everything! It's about hanging with the girls, unloading what you don't really need, finding treasures, making new friends & helping a girlfriend feel better about herself so she can move forward with dignity.

Let me know if you're going to attend by posting a comment on my blog or emailing me @ SuzetteMcD@SBCglobal.net

Hope to see you and your groovy duds!

The Hair Tailor Implosion

Well... Just know, while I was out on medical leave for knee surgery (June 1 - very successful, thank you!), the salon closed it's doors a week earlier than announced - AND NO ONE CALLED TO TELL ME. So I hope this helps anyone who's upset at it's sudden closer & lack of communication; feel not alone. The owner will not give out client information unless we pay her a ridiculous amount of money. Hence, I do not have a client contact list.

My fellow stylists/artists are all moving in wonderful directions. Janine Hunt & Odessa Charles are openning The Charles*Hunt Salon on Piedmont Ave. this July 11th & will be joined on the block by Dean & her sister, Louise, at the Dean Louise Salon & Massage Studio. Sharon Perry has relocated to a TBA salon in SF, Karen Swenson has taken the Summer off to hang out in her lovely, newly renovated, Tuscan-style home, & Mary Anne is home, safe & sound, with her new baby girl, Isabella.

I apologize for any & all inconveniences this is causing to all of our beloved clients/friends. Transition is rough, but the end results will be truly special. Thank you for your patience & persistence in finding us!

Hair cut Appointements!

Need to refresh your "Do" so it doesnt' become a "Don't"? Email me at suzettemcd@sbcglobal.net or call me @ 510.282.9381. Let's play!

STUDIO uTT is germinating...

The vision is becoming clearer. Clear out & customize my garage to be a multi-tasking dream space. New paint, walls and floor, create zones (e.g., art space, laundry, work out equipment stored out of the way, hydraulic hair chair space w/ mirror for the Beauty Bar, etc...) I am so excited! We could have art exhibitions, hair/make-up/jewelry parties, art parties, dinner, do a little laundry & swap clothes we never wear but are still excellent & wearable. San Leandro look out! Does anyone know how to make a u with "oomlots" on their computer keyboard? The German U with 2 dots above it. Let the secret out and share!

Shameless Self Promotion

Check out my pre*existing website at SuzetteMcD.com to see a sampling of my paintings!

Check. Check. Check. This is only a test. Trying to see if I can upload pics onto this blog.

Wow.

I'm in the Blogoshpere! I feel dizzy with opportunities... Why am I doing this? Shameless self promotion & having fun. What will I be blogging about? Where I will be setting up my shingle to do hair, routine Mom rantings, my art, ideas for manners classes w/ dates and times, philosophical musings, interior design ideas and ways to hire me, essentially, allowing me to play with your personal image & your home. I'd even be interested in doing a portrait of you or a family member. Even a vinyard style landscape could occur. The possibilities are endless...

More to come...